1. I haven't really told anyone about it! That's true. I guess I'm just a modest, small-town, suburb guy trying to make it in an arrogant, big-city guy world.
2. People don't like reading! It's stupid!
3. Computers are dumb. Dildos are more fun! (Stay tuned for my upcomming list "Ways to use dildos that aren't sexual!")
4. My blog is boring! I am not skilled with URL and have no idea how to make an interesting format. I'm just a writer. And writers are lame-O-rific!
5. No one knows who I am. Famous people's blogs are more fun!
6. I seldom use big words like "incredulous" or "inflamitory".
7. I make jokes about comic books and awkward relationships, not jokes about tractors and dildos like Larry the Cable Guy! (However, stay tune for my upcomming list "Ways to use dildos that aren't sexual!")
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