A letter to the candidates from Joe The Plumber

Dear Barak Obama and John Mccain,

I want to thank you for dedicating so much of tonight's debate specifically to discussing my life, ambitions and misfortunes. I deeply appreciate that you care so much about my the future of my business and I know that it made Americans feel better to what you were both willing to do to earn my vote. Thank you for realizing that economic issues, specifically the taxing of small businesses, are issues that I, Joe The Plumber, care very much about. For your future reference, here are some other things that have been eating at me:


1. The neighbors dog won't shut up at night! Joe The Plumber works for a living and has to get up and 5:30 in the morning God Dammit! They should have a little respect.

2. My wife won't stop nagging me to take the garbage out! She should know that Joe The Plumber gets very busy and is very tired at the end of a long hard day. So if I say I'll do it in the morning, I'll do it in the morning.

3. There's this stain in my brand new carpet that won't come out no matter what I put on it.

4. It's impossible to park your car on the street these days! What's a Joe The Plumber gotta do to find some decent parking??

5. Ok, so there's this guy Sam Binkerton who lives down the street from me, right? Sam let's his kids run all over the neighborhood. And I don't usually mind, Joe The Plumber loves children. But recently, they ran through my garden and completely trampled my flowers. And I kinda want to say something, but at the same time I don't want to sound like I'm accusing his kids because they really are nice boys and I know they didn't do it on purpose, I just don't want it to happen again, ya know? So I could really use some advice.

6. Why are there so many Reality Television shows on TV? It seems like that's all the networks can come up with lately. Joe The Plumber is sick of it! You should tell the entertainment industry to get some God Damned creativity and start producing more evocative and stimulating programming.

7. We need a clear plan for troop removal in Iraq.


Thanks for hearing me out boys! Over the next three weeks I will carefully consider your offers and let both of you and America know what I have decided.

Sincerely,
Joe The Plumber
The Most Important Man In The Country