The Honeymooners

Today is the day most people recognize as New Years Day, the first day of the year that began at midnight last night. Some will also recognize it as the day channel 11 does their annual Honeymooners Marathon.

Beginning at midnight, the start of 2009, and ending at 5PM this evening, the channel is showing almost every Honeymooners episode. While not being one who spends my entire holiday watching television, I will turn it on and watch an episode or two or three and appreciate some of the best comedic work in television history. Not the writing. Oh, the writing is good. And it actually seemed better at the time before their plots would be used and reused by shows of less quality for years to follow. The writing is good, but not amazing.

When I speak of some of the best comedic work in television history, I speak specifically about the performances of Jackie Gleason and Art Carney. They are perhaps perfect. And perfect is not a word I like to use. The writing, in reality, was mostly a bunch of excuses to let these guys rant at each other. Their dynamic was perfect. They both played their characters so well, and understood exactly what was funny about them and how to heighten those details in every single episode. They didn't even really need a script. I could watch these two characters just sit in a room and talk about non-sense and it would be hilarious.

Consider the following exchange:

Gleason is yelling out the window for Carney, who lives a floor up in the same building. Gleason, however, doesn't realise that Carney is already downstairs and in the same room as him. So, when Gleason yells his name out the window, Carney replies from behind him causing him to get startled and jump.

This is a gag that would be trivial if almost any two other actors had done it. To be sure, similar jokes have been done on many a sit-com throughout time. But, in the hands of these two actors, it is great.

Everyone compares the Honeymooners to the Flintstones and, while they did get the idea of the Fred and Barney characters from the Gleason and Carney characters Ralph and Ed Norton, the comparison is not totally accurate. The dynamic is different. Barney was always subordinate to Fred. He was a dolt, flat out. They fought about big things, but didn't usually argue about the general planning of Fred's schemes. Barney participated in these schemes because he was Fred's dumb friend.

Norton participated and Ralph's ridiculousness because he wanted to. He was not the straight man to Ralph's crazy character, he was just as crazy. The women were the straight man. He was also, in a way, Ralph's intellectual equal, which is much different from their animated kin.

And, now, concerning the women. Trixie and Alice are almost never discussed in conversation concerning this show. But they were invaluable. Here amongst two of the most ridiculous characters in entertainment history, are two normal, cold, wives. Which is necessary. If no one was there to tell Ralph he was an idiot, it just wouldn't have been as funny. Alice also gave Ralph a reason to get mad. And Ralph getting reasons to get mad and scheme things with Norton was pretty much the whole point of the show. This (not to keep bringing up the Flintstones but...) was another difference in the two dynamics. Wilma and Betty were giggly and silly. Alice and Trixie and just real women. The writers of the Honeymooners were smart enough to know that Ralph and Norton are funniest when in a otherwise regular world. No one else needed to be funny on that show but them.

I easily rank both of these actors amongst the funniest performers in sit-com history. If I had make a list of the top six, I believe it would look like this.

1. Jackie Gleason in The Honeymooners
2. Art Carney in The Honeymooners
3. Lucille Ball in I Love Lucy
4. Christopher Lloyd in Taxi
5. Carrel O'Connor in All in the Family
6. Ricky Gervais in The Office

Those are not in order. I can't order those geniuses.

I am a huge fan of smart entertainment and those above names, particularly the two I've discussed in this blog, are models of smart performers. The know what is funny about themselves, their characters, and their show. And they play just that, and nothing more or less. Being one who values little more in life than discovering exactly what is funny about everything and what will make people laugh, their accomplishments are inspiring.

This is the day everyone is discussing what's going to happen over the next year and personally, I hope we get more people like these. More people who can entertain us, smartly, and inspire us who wish to be inspired.

A Great Insult

One of the all-time great "fat" jokes. Fred Murtz, from I love Lucy, tells Ethel, "If route 66 were round, I could roll you back to New York."

Random Memory Alert

Today at work, I tried to toss a crumbled up piece of paper into a waste basket at really close range and missed. Two other people working there playfully laughed at me, and it reminded me of the 8th grade.

I tried out for the Woodrow Wilson Middle School basketball team the first year that there was a Woodrow Wilson Middle School basketball team. They announced that they would be taking fifteen player and help three days of open tryouts. Eighteen individuals came out. So, they would be taking fifteen out of eighteen people. Meaning, they were only cutting three. And I was one of the three poeple who got cut.

It's really hilarious, looking back on it, that I wanted to try out for the basketball team. I have little to no hand/coordination. I am not very tall and can't jump very high. Looking at me, I am the last person you'd expect to be a basketball player. I guess I just really liked basketball at the time.

Bananas Go Bye?!?!

http://www.popsci.com/scitech/article/2008-06/can-fruit-be-saved

Anyone who has ever spoken to me about my opinions of bananas knows that I am no fan of the fruit. In fact, on more than one occasion I have argued that it is not a fruit at all, using the simple logic that all fruits must meet 3 requirements:

1. Must contain seeds.
2. Must grow from the earth.
3. Must be delicious.

Bananas only fulfill two of the requirements.

But, this news is shocking even for me. Apparently, the banana is very much in danger of becoming extinct. And this article isn't the only one that thinks so. When I type in a google search for "bananas extinct", it gets 132,000 hits. Many of the articles predict the end of the banana in as early as ten years from now!

When I was a kid, I once ate a banana and vomited, and have had a mental block on bananas ever since. Even so, it seems so weird that something we encounter so much in our every day life may no longer exist in ten short years. I know a lot of people who will be pretty upset about this. Personally though, I can only shed a single token tear for the worst of all fruits.

My Resolution

Hey guys. I've been spending a lot of time writing lately. Mostly sketches, but also some essays. I'm making it part of my daily routine to do a lot of writting every single day. And so, in the spirit of this, part of my New Year's Resolution is to start using this blog more. I'm going to try to update it consistantly and also post a few of my essays and stuff here. So readers of this blog, if there are any, will be getting a lot more material out of me this upcoming year. If anyone ever has any feedback to offer, it would be greatly appreciated. You can either comment here on my blog, email me at gulyacomedy@yahoo.com or brandongulya@gmail.com, or message me on facebook.

Today I got in trouble for writing, kinda. I currently work at Panera Bread in Woodbridge, New Jersey. I was making sandwiches when I got the idea for a sketch. Actually, I wrote an entire sketch in my head. Normally I just get an idea for the game of a sketch and then I start writing. But for this one, I knew mentally what I wanted for every beat of the sketch, and I got really excited about it. I decided I needed to write notes about it before I forgot any of it. So, I went into the back to jot it down. I ended up taking about five minutes and jotting down notes for every beat including some dialogue. When I went back to my station there were five costumers waiting for their sandwiches. My boss had started to make them and was a little mad. Whatever. It was worth it. I just finished writing the full sketch right before I did this blog post.

My Favorite Paragraph Ever

My youngest brother Andrew (recently accepted into Rutgers!) found an old story today that he wrote when he was ten. I remember the story well. It is called "The Evil Witch" and was the subject of much laughter when first he read it to myself and my brother Jason eight years ago. Upon re-reading the piece, I recall that it contains my favorite paragraph ever.

"On Tuesday Billy came over. A witch came. She killed Billy and left. On Wednesday I went to the park."

Somewhat Embarressing Story

So three nights ago, the night before Christmas Eve, I got really drunk at a party with a few of my friends. My good friend Emily drove me home. When I say I was drunk, I mean I was embarressingly drunk. I do not drink very often at all so it hit me pretty hard.

It was, first of all, a mistake to drink at all this night since I had work at 6:30 AM at Panera. But, I usually don't care about being tired at work since it is nonsense work. And I didn't think I was going to drink that much anyway. But I did.

I have very rarely been intoxicated to the point of not being able to remember events, but on this night I have no memory of what happened between being dropped off at my house and waking up at 10:30 the following morning.

Obviously, I had not set off my alarm and had missed work. I probably would have slept until into the afternoon if it weren't for my mom accidentally waking me up. I awoke to the sounds of my mom walking into my room whispering to someone, "I have no idea where it would be. I guess I'll check Brandon's room, but I don't know why it would be here." After hearing this, I noticed that I was laying in bed wrapped, not in my blanket, but my mom's table cloth.

To be fair, the table cloth did not come straight from the table, but had been left folded on the couch in my living room. My mom just laughed. Panera, on the other hand, was kinda mad.